Edited to add: I in no way have the rhythm “figured out” but I do learn a great deal from other parents all the time. These connections really help me and my husband form our views and shape how we want to design our lives. We are very grateful for friends near, far and socially that love to talk about ways that their families find simplicity and happiness throughout their days.
One of my favorite lines in Simplicity Parenting is, “A baby’s first lullaby is its mother’s heartbeat in the womb, a powerful rhythm that we try to re-create with gentle sounds and rocking in their first weeks, months and even years.” (page 97). This speaks to my soul. These precious childhood years are a time to guide children into an earth-side rhythm that can help them the rest of their lives.
I used to think that I would have a daily routine with my children. (Read: I am a new parent and was trying to figure it out.) It just didn’t work for me. I’m not good at specific times. I am however, fairly good at the flow of a household. I love this part of mothering and homemaking. The everyday is what makes me smile. I am an avid reader, especially on topics relating to play/development based learning, parenting and holistic health. All of my research over the past five years has led me to a place of such contentment with parenting.
I’ve studied education and child theory in depth. I love learning about the different philosophies and how to integrate this in my own life. I am mostly drawn to Charlotte Mason and Waldorf. Both of these philosophies have a strong belief in nature. A beautiful read, The Rhythm of Family, words the connection to nature as it relates to the flow of the day so well, ” The natural world can serve as both inspiration and reward on this journey. For it, too, is ever changing and constantly in motion.”
While Charlotte Mason focuses more on habits, Waldorf focuses more on rhythm. Learning about each of these have really helped me design our family life in a way that brings us such joy and simplicity.
You can read more about my posts about the philosophies here. It is ever-changing as her awake and nap times adjust but we are falling into a nice rhythm that is last longer, as she gets older. Flexibility is key. But, I also believe that gifting your children a natural rhythm and routine is key. For me it is not so much that nap time happens right at 1:00, but that the tiny routine happens right before that. It is not that we must do an art project followed by a stroller walk, but that the flow of calming and energizing activities fits our flow.
I truly believe that rhythm helps facilitate confidence and security.
Here is our general family rhythm as of lately. I have put in some times as general landmarks for you. Please also remember, the important part of a family rhythm is that it works for you.
Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.
Start a load of laundry
Read, Journal, Planner
Me and my husband wake up and have what we call our “mindful morning time” where we read the Toa To Ching, do our 5 minute journals and review our planners together. This does not always happen. Sometimes I stay in bed. Sometimes my husband is traveling and I try to get one step ahead before Lydia wakes up. But sometimes these beautifully crafted Mindful Mornings do happen and those days are glorious because I feel that order and calm all through my day. My goal is to add a little yoga during this time but I usually get engrossed in a book or conversation with my husband instead.
Our mindful mornings end when Lydia wakes up, usually around 6:30. She soaks in some snuggles and soon starts saying “Eat. Eat”. She is my daughter! Wakes up starving. She usually finishes the banana that I started when I first got up.
Then Lydia hangs out with my husband while I get breakfast ready. They usually read books or play with the dogs together. Then, Lydia helps feed the dogs.
By this time, breakfast is ready. It is some variation of the same thing. Every single weekday.
Eggs with Toast. Eggs with sweet potatoes. Eggs with peppers in an omelet.
It may sound boring, but we love how easy it is to plan. It uses one pan. I know how many eggs we use in a week. And it gives us some protein in the morning.
I make our daily smoothie while I make breakfast so that it is ready to go whenever people want to drink it.
After breakfast my husband gets ready for work. He works from our home office 3-4 days a week so it is an easy commute.
~7:30 Morning Rhythm
This is also the time when I get most of my morning chores done. I fold the laundry, sweep the floors and clean up the kitchen. I am not the best house keeper in the world so I don’t have this part down to a science yet. But Lydia usually bops around with me while I do the chores. Sometimes she helps by sweeping,, rubbing a cloth around the floor, putting away dish towels or puts away the silverware. I involve her in as much as she wants to be involved in. Otherwise, she just plays around me, usually with her play food or baby doll and stuffed dog.
Lately she has been requesting to paint during this time as well. I used to try to structure the paining time to a particular time in the day but when self reflecting on our rhythm and “breath in” and “breath out” flow, I reconsidered this and allow her to paint during any of her free time. The two minute clean up is really not a big deal and she is loving this therapeutic activity.
Her free time is a combination of independent play and time with me on the floor. There are so many different philosophies on how we play with children. I tend to not follow one directly. When she plays by herself, wonderful. When she plays with me, also wonderful.
This is the time we also read books and often do a “Morning Lesson”. These morning lessons are so simple at this time and can be just turning on a specific song to sing to with a puppet. Sometimes it is reading a book and looking at a little toy about the same subject, such as the zoo book with some zoo animal figurines.
But usually it is pure free play inside.
~9:00 Morning Snack
I was allowing Lydia to play while eating the morning snack, but after chatting with my mom about some concerns with her shoving food in her mouth(then grossly spitting it out on her plate), it turns out the child was getting to over-hungry and trying to fill up too quickly. Oops. (Mom Fail by me! Grandma always knows what to do!)
So now we sit down and have a proper snack time. We usually read one of our library books during this time.
Morning snack is usually some smoothie and either apples and peanut butter or cheese and crackers. We keep it really simple for breakfast, snacks and lunches. Snack time leads us into a calming portion of our day.
This is a breath out time for both of us. We generally head out on a stroller walk, nature walk or just play around outside. We let the fresh air hit us and observe different wonders in nature. It is one of my favorite times of day and although I love play dates, I often miss this special time we have in the mornings if we are out and about. We end this time by coming back inside, washing our hands and reading some books again.
This is also the section of day that we do most of our activities.
Monday: Library to check out books and grocery shop (bi-weekly)
Tuesday: Lydia plays at home with my mom while I work
Wednesday: Play at home for extended time, sometimes we do a playgroup
Thursday: Lydia usually goes to library time and plays with my mom while I work
Friday: We almost always go to the playground for a playdate
I try to limit it to only going out 2-3 times a week because I really like having huge sections of time for free-play. Last Friday, we didn’t have any plans so my husband and I took Lydia to the library to check out some books before dinner. It was a really nice family activity to start the week. We talked about doing that most Friday afternoons instead of me doing the Monday trip. This would open my Mondays to more free play and yard exploration (and gardening once we get into our new house!)
Lunches are super simple here. I usually drink my smoothie at this time and munch on something little like baked chick peas or leftovers. Lydia often finishes her smoothie (it’s huge!) from the morning and has some cheese. If she already finished her smoothie, she has yogurt with fruit. We all also love having soup for lunch. One of my goals is to get better about making soups that can freeze so we can have nourishing soups for lunch more often in the winter.
Lunchtime leads right into nap time. We usually read some more books or play with a puzzle or something like that and then go into the bedroom. I rub a little bit of lavendar oil on her feet and throw on the white noise and diffuser. Then I either rock her or lay with her until she is asleep. Admittedly, I wish that the time that I begin nap time to when she is asleep was shorter, but I keep reminding myself that this is just the “season of life right now” and to cherish it.
Since my housework is done while Lydia is awake, I have nap time “free”. This is when I do house tasks like bills, budgeting, meal planing and meal prep. I also do a little bit of work to prepare my lessons for my student. I work with an amazing high school student 6 hours a week on three academic subjects and executive functioning. Also, keep your eyes open for posts about my new project that I am working on focusing on executive functioning for young children.
~2:30 Afternoon Rhythm
This is another chunk of time that we usually spend outside. There is no agenda to this time. Just play outside. We are lucky enough to live near a woods so we do a lot of woods exploring. On Wednesdays, we have recently added a playdate with a friend and her son. They are outdoor lovers too, so we meet at a playground, park or at one of our houses to let them play while we chat.
After about an hour and half to two hours of play outside, Lydia is starving again, which really just looks like crankiness at the time. (Again, mom snack fail!) So we stop and have a snack. Usually it is fruit- orange slices and blueberries are her current favorites. Sometimes it is just a carrot and apple pureed pouch. Sometimes she has some gourmet cheerios or crackers. Sometimes bone broth.
After snack we have a little calm time inside. We often have some tea. I may catch up on some office work during this tome. Lydia plays around the house. We eat early, so I often start cooking dinner. This is a hard time in the day. Lydia is getting tired, I am getting tired. She wants attention. I want her to independently play. It is what it is. This is the time of day that I pull out a sensory bin, pop her in the sink for water play or come up with some type of ridiculous game in the kitchen with pots and pans. Anything to give me that time in the kitchen to create. Cooking is one of my favorite things so taking the time to make nice dinners is so important to me…..Even with Lydia grabbing at my legs or asking “Up. Up. Rock Me?!”
Lydia feeds the dogs and (sometimes) washes her hands then we sit down for dinner.
I want to get in the habit of a blessing, lighting a candle then eating. This is my next part of our rhythm to focus on .The actual dinner and conversation is always sweet and a real grounding time for us all, but I would love to add an extra element in.
My husband wraps up his work day by about 5:15/5:30 most days when he is in town so he is ready for dinner early too. We eat our dinner as a family. Then Lydia usually goes off to play while my husband and I stay at the table talking.
Ok. Full disclosure. This is when our rhythm falls apart. Our bedtime (like the actual time) is a post for another day. I am reading, researching and looking at our patterns here. Reading and research suggestions are welcomed!
We live in walking distance to my parents right now and will be a short two minute drive from them in our new home (Blessed! Lucky! Grateful!) We often, especially when the weather is nice, have a drink with them before dinner. Or enjoy dinner together. This pushes dinner back to about 6:30 on these nights.
So we have this in between time here. Sometimes it is just free play inside. Sometimes it is a family walk. Sometimes it is playing outside for a little bit. It seems to always be something different.
For how all over the place the rhythm is from dinner until bedtime routine, our bedtime routine is very consistent. My husband gives Lydia a bath. They both love this time together and I can often hear them in there laughing and chatting. I usually take a break at this point- shower, sit an play on my phone, or read a little bit.
After bath, Lydia know the routine so well that she prompts us with the next thing, “Teeth.” So my husband brushes her teeth, brushes her hair and get her in her pajamas.
Then I step in and put some more lavender oil on her and get her to sleep. For how systematic our routine is, the actually “get her to sleep” part isn’t as beautiful. Again, a post for another day.
Then I creep out of the room and hang out with my husband. Sometimes he is back at his computer working. Often he is reading or finishing up the dishes. We hang out for a bit together- sometimes just on the couch reading or playing on our phones. We often chat and catch up on the day. Sometimes we go in the office, where our only TV is, and watch something on Netflix. More days over the past eighteen months than I would like to admit, I stay in bed and fall asleep shortly after getting Lydia to sleep. I don’t like this habit and we talk about a lot as a couple. We discuss how important my sleep is as well but also that we want time together. This leads into why we want to “hack” our evenings more.
****More posts to come regarding these subject areas, including some interview style posts with other parents. If you need help with your daily rhythm, please check out Meagan’s resources with Whole Family Rhythms. She is far more experienced in this area than I am.***